Taking out the Trash...

Happy 4th of July Eve! 


I apparently need to pay attention to how often I do (don't - is really the better word) post something. Just noticed it's been almost a week - not sure where the time goes most nights after work, that's sad! Fixing that real quick. Yet you might get more annoyed hearing from me more often. Meh, even if you do. You'll get over it. :) 


So, even as far as I've come in my life in the past year - I still have work to do. And one of the things is letting in men that do not deserve one second of my thoughts during the day. As much as I want to meet someone, fall in love and have that big ol happy ending - I tend to let in the WRONG ones. And fall hard without them even knowing I actually fall. Have you heard the song by Zac Brown Band - As She's Walking Away? If not, listen to it. (I love them!) If so, just change that She to He and you've got my whole dating past over the last couple years or so. Wonderful song? Yes. Pathetic way to live your life? Again - yes. Sigh.


I have a tendency to be totally gun shy when it comes to telling a guy I'm interested in them. I have friends that say you just need to tell them that you like them because guys don't get it and don't know until you actually draw the picture for them. Others say, if he's not calling/texting/seeing you - he's not into you and move on. UGH. Total opposite ends of the spectrum and makes me nuts. I wish I knew what was the 'right' way to think and act - but I have NOT ONE SINGLE F*CKING CLUE. I consider myself more than dating challenged - I think I'm completely dating handicapped. Pretty much a walking disaster which is why I usually avoid it altogether. Easier? You bet. A lot more lonely? Without a doubt. 


So, there was someone I let in last year. A man a little younger than myself but had many of the things I finally figured out I was looking for in a man. Or so I thought. He ended up breaking my heart more than once - and didn't even know it - and decided to "see" someone else instead of me because she lived closer. Seemed like the lamest reason to NOT get to know someone you had chemistry with but I dealt with it. Cut him out of my life for a good few months, then went back to talking again and then had him tell me he couldn't talk to me so he didn't ruin his chance with this girl. I don't know her, she doesn't know me - but I'd kinda like to punch her. So he reappears in my life a few weeks ago thru FB and it was driving me crazy. Mainly b/c I kept wondering What the f****ck? So after a brief and ridiculously boring text convo and nothing much more after that (best part of it - the lame excuse that his "friend" was asking about me at the bar and he looked me up and his "friend" must have requested me), a few tears and a little reassurance of him being really shitty in general - I deleted him. And then told him why I did it over text. I was a very mature lady about it too. And he came back with, Ok. Yep. Not worth my time. After a bottle of wine that night - I almost told him to F*ck Off. Yet didn't. There will be a time for that. I just have a feeling...then maybe I'll punch him instead of her. 


Some days taking out the trash in your life, really just makes more room for the good stuff they say is just around the corner. Right? Either way - life has been a little easier since Saturday. Just making room for the good stuff...